Harry Potter Tag.

Those of you who know me have already bared witness to my love, bordering on crazy obsession, of all things Harry Potter. I remember getting the first book when it first came out when I was 10/11 and waiting every morning for my Hogwarts exceptance letter to come through the post. Clearly that didn't happen. So when I read this tag on my beautiful friend Charli's blog (http://rosecharli.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1) I knew I had to share it. 

1. What is your favourite book?

Definitely, without a doubt, The Prisoner of Azkaban. It's when it all went a bit dark, it started to delve into the nitty gritty bits of living in the wizarding world. Not to mention meeting wizards from Harry's past including two of my absolute favourites, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Not to mention the introduction of the knight bus, which is just awesome!

2. What is your favourite film?

Again, The Prisoner of Azkaban. Seeing my favourite book come to life is, excuse the pun, magical. They couldn't have gotten better actors for the characters! Gary Oldman is incredible, it was like he was born for the part. The Philosophers Stone is also one of my favourite films just because every time I watch it I'm transported back to when I was younger and finding this world for the first time. It still gives me goosebumps when Harry sees Diagon Alley and Hogwarts for the first time!

3. What is your least favourite book?

As much as I'd like to say that I love them all, which I do they're are all necessary on Harry's journey, I'm really not a huge fan of The Chamber of Secrets. It just feels like an inbetween book to me, especially since when I re-read them I'm too busy getting excited about reading the third one!

4. What is your least favourite film?

Again, it's The Chamber of Secrets. This is mostly because in the film Tom Riddle comes off as a massive brat and I really don't like Gilderoy Lockhart. However, I think the Harry and Fawkes scenes are done beautifully. 

5. What part of the books/ films made you cry?

Too much! Haha I love all the sweet Harry/ Hagrid scenes, the Harry/Dumbledore relationship, I poured my eyes out when Dumbledore died (the film captured this perfectly) and I cry every single time Cedric Diggory dies just because of his dads reaction in the film. It's absolutely heartbreaking! The end battle has me bawling too, especially the Weasley's when Fred dies and of course, my favourite house elf Dobby.

6. If you could hook up with any character, who would it be?

Oh my god! I used to have the BIGGEST crush on Oliver Wood, the Gryfindor Quidditch captain, in the first three books! I still think he is beautiful! And of course Sirius Black. I don't think I need to explain that one.

7. Who is your favourite character?

I have far too many! Hagrid is a wonderful person who I wish I knew in real life so I could hug him all the time. I also really like Neville, who you see become braver and braver through the years. Severus Snape also has to be mentioned here, I hated him through every book and film but after finally understanding the whole story you realise what a courageous man he was underneath it all. This is also true of Kreacher, he doesn't get much of a mention in the films but Kreacher really makes me happy in the books.

8. Who is your least favourite character? 

I'm going to be completely honest. As much as I hate Voldemort, and I do A LOT, there are two characters I HATE with a burning passion. Lucious Malfoy, snivelling little snake, and Dolores Umbridge, ridiculous uppity pink cat spinster who likes nothing more than to suck the happiness out of people like a dementor. I'm not even joking, I wanted to shove a wand in her eye every time I read/ watch her. What a truly awful character! No one should own that much pink!!

9. What is your favourite line?

Again, this is difficult because there's so many to choose from. One that sticks with me when I think of Harry Potter is Snape and Dumbledore's conversation that Harry takes from Snape's memory in the last book.

Dumbledore- 'Lily...after all this time?'

Snape- 'always'

One that always gets me laughing is in book/ film five The Order of the Phoenix when Harry, Ron and Hermione are talking about Cho.

Ron- 'one person couldn't feel all that, they'd explode!'

Hermione- 'just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon'

I love every single one of Dumbledore's speeches, he always says the right thing at the perfect time.

Another favourite is Professor McGonagall from the last book/ film.

'Hogwarts is threatened, man the boundaries, protect us!...I've always wanted to use that spell' 

She's such a badass!

10. What would your patronus be?

Definitely a fish I think, I'm pretty sure I'm part water baby. 

11. If you could have the invisibility cloak, resurrection stone or elder wand, which would you choose?

The invisibility cloak! It's awesome, I'd definitely get up to some mischief with it! 

12. What house would you be in?

I'd obviously want to be Gryffindor but who knows? I'd love for there to be a way to find out for real! One of my favourite bits about Hogwarts is the Sorting ceremony. Especially all the cool rhymes the Sorting Hat comes up with in the books!

13. If you could meet any of the cast who would it be?

Emma Watson would be amazing to meet, she's seriously cool and I think she would be so interesting. Alan Rickman would be awesome to meet too! She may not be part of the 'cast' but I'd also love to meet J K Rowling, I'd love to hear more about how she came up with the Harry Potter world and the wonderful characters and creatures that she created and are adored around the world.

14. If you were on the Quidditch team, what position would you play?

Totally a Beater!!! I've already thought about this! I get really competitive so I can work out my aggression by hitting the bludgers and taking out the other team!

15. Were you happy with the ending?

I was actually. Both the death of Voldemort and the older, grown up versions of the main cast are bittersweet. It was incredible watching and reading all the pieces of the puzzle (or horcrux) come together. It was a beautiful ending to an epic series. 'I open at the close'

16. How much does Harry Potter mean to you?

I have tried to put into words how much it means to me in my answers but even that doesn't do it justice. Harry Potter has been a part of my life for the past 17 years, I've grown up with the characters and felt like I was a part of their story. I waited at book shops at midnight for the release of the books and I queued up at midnight for the release of the films. The excitement before each new installment was ridiculous and I would stay up all night just to finish reading the books so no one could spoil it for me. Even now, years after it's all ended, I love snuggling up with the books or films and being transported back to how I felt when it all started. I am in love with them. Every single word. 'Always'

Hope you enjoyed reading about my craziness! Do you guys prefer the books or films? What are your faves?

Love Kerry xoxo

WakeMeUpWhenSeptemberEnds

Well, it's officially my favourite month of the year! Leaves are falling off the trees, it's getting darker in the evenings, I found my first conker AND it's nearly Halloween! Definitely my favourite.

Spiced pumpkin lattes are back (oh my goodness!) and I'm in the midst of decorating my shop window at work all scary-like.

Halloween has always been huge for me, I love the supernatural and all things that go bump in the night- even if I'm a massive scaredy cat. I'm always hugely excited all the way through October just waiting for Halloween whether I'm hosting a party, going out or just staying in with snacks, my skeleton onesie, A Nightmare Before Christmas and Harry Potter.

 2008 as Alice (Resident Evil) & 2009 as a Vampire.

This October though, I have even more to look forward to! My friend from home has a little girl, Indiana, who is turning two so she's having a birthday party/ house party for all our friends to get together. Which in turn means I'm reunited with my  best friend of 13years, Kiran. Things may get messy! Being in Coventry also means  seeing the family and on Sundays I get to enjoy my mums wonderful Sunday dinner and walk in the park with Stacey and Toffee.

2011 as a waitress in Merlotte's Bar (True Blood)

October is also the month in which I have just over a week off work and the very first thing I'm doing is getting tattooed! Aaaaaaaaah I'm so excited! I haven't been tattooed in over a year due to being tested to see if I'm a kidney donor for Stacey. I had a miniture tattoo done whilst Stacey was in hospital (more on this in another post) but this is pretty big. I have over 30 tattoos now, most of them small, but I'm starting my first half sleeve. It's beautiful and delicate and I can't wait!

2012 as Harley Quinn & Stacey as Zombie Nurse.

This year my beautiful friend Charli and I decided we were going to do scare fest as I've never been before and it looks awesome. We had been to Alton Towers the year before when it was all decorated for Scarefest but couldn't afford to go. However, when driving to and from work I noticed a sign saying 'Fear Forest' so I googled it ( not whilst I was driving) and we've decided to do that instead! It's in a forest, obviously, and it has 3 mazes to walk round and be terrified out of our wits and a Halloween themed bar to calm our nerves afterward! I'm so tempted to dress up as Alice from Alice in Wonderland to wander round the mazes!

2011 at Alton Towers, being made up for Scarefest.

So that's my October! Have you guys got any plans? And do you love Halloween as much as me?

Love Kerry xoxo

Letting Go.

I've always found it hard to express myself. Ever since I was younger I have kept diaries but I can't seem to be able to talk and open up to people. I've always been the shy, quiet one sat in a corner with my nose in a book (I've even been known to walk around with my nose in a book without looking up to avoid things such as lampposts!).

It's not like I don't say 'I Love You', I do. I tell my mum and dad and I tell my boyfriend regularly but other than that I struggle to say those three little words that mean the world.

Before Stacey became ill I can't even remember the last time I told her I loved her. I found it awkward even hugging her which is ridiculous considering our family are so close but I always felt...silly? It was like it was uncomfortable and emotion made me nervous. Post-Stacey drama I'm all for emotion and showing affection! If I can give anyone advise looking back on what has happened to our family it's to show the people you care about just how much you love and appreciate them. I came so close to losing one of the most important people in the world to me and I rarely, if ever, told her I loved her. 

If you've read my blog from the beginning then you may or may not have noticed that I miss out a week or so where Stacey is in Palma and I travel home. To be completely honest that week is still so hard for me to talk about. Every time I think of it or start to talk or write about it I start crying. However, it's been over a year and Stacey is doing ridiculously well so I think maybe it's time to let it go.

Leaving my dad at the hotel, crying, and having to get on a coach to the airport knowing I'm leaving behind my family and a sister that I may never see again was literally the WORST thing that has ever happened to me. I still break down remembering the look on my dads face as we drove away. I sat on that plane and felt physically sick thinking over what could possibly be my last words to my sister, praying that I would get the chance to tell her I loved her one more time. 

My beautiful baby sister was in a coma for 5 days. She had exploratory surgery due to not having had a wee in over a week so her organs were swimming in toxic fluid and they had to find the cause and drain the fluid. It was a hugely risky surgery in the state she was in and the doctors had no idea whether her body would survive the pressure of surgery or whatever it was that had caused her to almost die. They couldn't even tell us whether she would come out of her coma alive as her body may have been too weak to repair itself.

Waiting every day was like walking around in a daydream. When we landed back home Stacey's boyfriend Kierran and I headed back to Coventry to update the rest of the family and sort out mums bills and stuff. Turning up on my Grandma's doorstep is still a bit of a haze. I remember everyone being there, pretty much the whole family, sat around waiting for news. I just remember loads of hugs and the most amount of tears. Everyone was just in complete shock. 

Stacey in Intensive Care in Palma.

I rang my mum every day, a couple of times a day, trying to find out anything I could. The doctors in Palma kept Stacey in a coma to let her body heal itself and after five days they slowly began waking her up. This may have been good for her body but was awful for her mind. She had been having really awful realistic nightmares where she was dying and she would start to wake up but get pulled back down again. It didn't help that they kept her strapped down so she wouldn't move her body so she thought she was paralysed. It took her a good few months to recover from how she felt after that. 

I can't remember the exact day that Stacey finally woke up, but I do remember breaking down in tears on the first day I finally got to hear her voice on the phone since we had left them. The day after that I passed my driving test and mum text me saying Stacey was proud of me. That meant the world to me, more than passing my test, just that Stacey was still here to share that with me.

A week or so later, after gazillions of tests, ups and downs, tears and ice lollies Stacey was able to be flown home.

This is where my blog started. The doctors and nurses that dealt with Stacey looked after her so well, she couldn't have asked for better. Even the hotel where my dad stayed were amazing and the lady who worked for Jet 2 was so helpful. We're so grateful for everything they did to make everything easier on us. 

Through every up and down my wonderful family have always been there whether it was a phonecall or a visit. I can't put into words how much I love them all, every single one of them. You don't realise how many people you have around you that care until something awful happens and I just want to use this to express how grateful I am to all of our friends and family that helped us through. Whether it was a Facebook post, message, text or phonecall, I appreciated every single one. 

I also want to thank Kierran, without him I wouldn't have made it through those weeks that we were separated from my mum, dad and Stacey. He kept me sane, he took my mind off things by making me laugh and I will always be grateful to him for that. He has been so wonderful with Stacey this whole year just trying to keep things as normal and hilarious as he can. I love you, you're awesome.

I also have to thank my own boyfriend Dan, who has listened to endless rants, endured endless crying, and driven me to and from Coventry whenever I needed it. I love you.

And lastly I want to thank my superhero parents. I don't think anyone realises how much you do for us, especially Stacey over this past year. You've both been so strong and brave keeping Stacey going and making sure I'm okay at the same time. I love you more than anything in the world. 

Stacey, I Love You. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I will never take you for granted again. You're so beautiful, brave and strong and I couldn't be prouder.

Stacey on her 23rd birthday last month.

Huge thanks to all you readers too, who care enough about Stacey and my family to read these posts. It means the world.

Love (a very emotional) Kerry xoxo

Stronger.

Stacey&Aunty Suzanne.

I managed to capture the moment the donor and the *donoree (totally just made up a word!) saw each other again post transplant. It was really emotional. There were lots of tears but of happiness this time! I'm so proud of both my Aunty and sister for undergoing something so huge and scary with smiles on their faces.

I managed to stay in Coventry an extra couple of days, my manager is kind of awesome, so I could make sure everything was okay with Stacey. She was still in critical care having to have fluid pumped through her, not to mention blood due to losing so much when she bled. I couldn't face leaving her when anything could happen, especially after the surprise second surgery. I was there til the Tuesday after her operation. She was literally getting better every day, eating a bit more, drinking a bit more. She even got out of bed on the Monday to see Aunty Suzanne who was just down the hallway! It was a huge struggle but she was determined she wasn't staying in bed all day every day.

  Stacey up and wandering around.

By the Tuesday my Aunty Suzanne was ready to come home, she had to stay an extra day due to a high temperature and a slight infection but she was fine! She was desperate to get out at that point after being cooped up since the Thursday before. She's not one to sit around and do nothing, I'm surprised she hasn't gotten back to the gym already!

It was Stacey's birthday on the Wednesday and as I was due to go back to work I had to give her my presents the day before- which she loved! I got her a pineapple pandora charm and some othe r bits. I'm convinced she made herself better for her birthday so she could have cake as by Tuesday evening she had all of her drains out and I even watched her have her line taken out of her neck. I am literally the most squeamish person and the sight of blood gives me the chills (you wouldn't think I'm a massive vampire fan would you?) but I wanted to watch. I totally regret it now! It was so long! I honestly thought I may pass out, I don't know how Stacey survives it. All the poking and prodding, injections and tests, X-rays and scans etc. I'd just want to be left alone.

Stacey enjoying her first meal in 2 days.

It's now been exactly two weeks since Stacey's kidney transplant. I can't really believe how fast this last week has gone! She was released from the hospital and able to go home on Wednesday (exactly two weeks after going into hospital) after having to stay in a few extra days because her creatinine levels were too high. She had a good last weekend so was able to go home for a few hours but with work and travel I couldn't get home. 

That's the worst thing about living in Nottingham, I've always missed my family a ridiculous amount since I moved out 5 years ago but after everything that happened with Stacey it's horrible being so far away. I feel guilty all the time that I'm not there for them, not just Stacey but my family, if they needed me. It's hard not being around the corner if anything happens.

Stacey giving me a back massage! 

So two weeks later Stacey is completely line free and, fingers crossed, back to relatively normal! Mum rang me earlier letting me know that Stacey had just gotten in the shower, not a big deal for a regular person but for Stacey it's her first one in over a year due to her dialysis line. No more line!! It's no longer needed. At this point Stacey still has to visit the hospital quite a few times a week to make sure everything is working okay and she has the most amount of tablets that she has to take every day. But this is the first step to her new life and I honestly couldn't be prouder of her. She has come so far in the last year, none of us in our wildest dreams could have guessed what would happen to Stacey and if I could take it all away from her I would in an instant. However, she has dealt with everything that has been thrown at her with humour and a smile on her face, always staying strong for everyone around her.

Stacey's Facebook post on Wednesday.

Thanks for reading!

Xoxo

Forever A Fighter.

Stacey after her kidney transplant on Friday.

Talk about not doing things the easy way! Throughout this whole year, with everything that's happened Stacey has been constantly unlucky (apart from actually still being alive that is!).

The doctors have always said the fact that her sight went and her kidneys all at the same time was a really unlucky coincidence, the fact that she was a perfectly normal, healthy girl and now she's in and out of hospital 3-4 times a week was really unlucky, that this happened while we were on holiday in Palma was really unlucky, and the fact that she needed not one but two surgeries for her transplant was really unlucky...I could go on.

Waiting for news on the two surgeries was one of the longest, most painful days of my life. We all knew it was a big operation but actually sitting and waiting for news was excruciating. My Aunty Suzanne came out of surgery and was brought back up to the ward after roughly 5 hours, everything had gone really well and she was in and out of consciousness so we were able to talk to her. She started by telling mum off for crying and telling grandma off for fussing whilst complaining that they didn't do her liposuction while she was down there! Haha typical!
We knew the surgery was a lot worse for my Aunty than Stacey as they would have to remove her kidney and then have to get used to living with just the one, but I don't think we were quite prepared for how swollen she would look. It was quite a shock and really hit home how much she had gone through to give Stacey a better life. All without one complaint.

It felt like days before we heard anything about Stacey. We sat with my Aunty while she was in and out of sleep and eventually a student nurse, that had asked to watch the surgery, came in to say that she had watched the kidney travel from one to the other! She said that both surgeries had gone absolutely fine and the doctors said the kidney literally started working as soon as it was 'plugged in' to Stacey and it was one of the healthiest ones they'd ever seen. However, after that we didn't hear anything about Stacey until around 7pm. 

My dad had been trying to contact us for ages to let us know that critical care were trying to get through to us so we could visit. We hadn't heard anything for 9 hours! We were terrified something had gone wrong. Eventually when my dad got through to us, we rushed down to critical care to see her. She was sat up in bed absolutely fine! My Aunty Suzanne was really groggy and in and out of sleep whereas Stacey wouldn't stop talking and wriggling about in bed! It was a shock to say the least! Apparently she had been in critical care, awake, for hours and no one could get through to us.

We left her in critical care that night feeling beyond relieved. It was like a weight was lifted and we could all breathe a little easier. 

Saturday morning was another story. We woke up early to go back to the hospital to see her again but before I'd had breakfast or even put makeup on both my mums mobile and the house phone started ringing. I answered the house phone to Critical Care urgently needing to speak to my mum and she was talking to a nurse. We had to rush to the hospital because Stacey had been bleeding since 4am and needed to be rushed into theatre again. Everytime I think I've been the most scared I could ever be, something else comes along. I felt like I'd stopped breathing, like my stomach had suddenly just dropped out. We grabbed whatever stuff we needed and went straight to the hospital.

When we got there Stacey seemed okay, she was up and talking, telling us she had woken up in a pool of blood that was seeping from her surgery wound. When we saw the wound on Friday night it was so clean and glued together but seeing it on Saturday it was so swollen and sore. The doctors told us that they had to drain the blood as soon as possible otherwise it would put pressure on her new kidney and cause it to fail. 

For the second time in 2 days we were sending Stacey in for surgery. As if once wasn't enough for her. This time though she wasn't scared, still being high on morphine and all, she was demanding that the doctors do everything they can to save her kidney. I'm still adamant she just wanted to scare me out of bed before 10am on a Saturday morning! 

Pre second surgery- Saturday morning.

We were told that if it was a simple procedure it would take roughly 40mins but if there were complications it could take up to 3 hours. There began more waiting only this time felt worse. To be given her kidney only for it to be taken away already seemed so cruel. I can't begin to explain what went through my head at this point. I felt hollow. I don't know if anyone else reading this blog has been through this but it felt like time had stopped. We were like zombies walking between wards and the canteen. Eventually, while mum was in Stacey's empty hospital room on the ward, I wandered into my Aunty Suzanne's room to say hello and instead just burst into tears. I couldn't hold it in any longer and seeing what she had been through to make Stacey better when she was in surgery again was awful.

No matter what happened though my Aunty was so positive. She just kept telling me over and over that Stacey would be okay. Her exact words were 'I didnt give her any old garbage you know!' She was right.

After 2 hours mum rang down to critical care to find out what was going on. Stacey was out of surgery, her and the kidney were fine! Mum burst into tears, (joyful this time!) and we went down to see her. This time she was definitely groggy and out of it. I can't praise the doctors and nurses enough for everything they did for us over the week Stacey has been in. They have all been so lovely and beyond helpful.

We found out that the bleed was just normal after surgery however, the amount of blood was due to the fact they had to start Stacey on the blood thinning drug Heparin straight after surgery to avoid clotting. They hadn't got the balance quite right which led to there being too much blood. The risk was letting it go on for too long and it causing a strain on the kidney. Which by the way is working perfectly! They fitted 3 drains so the build up wouldn't happen again and she was being kept in critical care so she had constant attention in case anything else happened.

Saturday passed in a blur. We didn't end up leaving til half 8 that evening after sitting with Stacey all day. I think we were too scared to leave her just in case. But just like everything else this year she's fought through it. Always with a brave smile on her face, determined to live a full, happy life.

Saturday morning, post second surgery.

Sorry I've rambled on in this post! I've had no signal being in the hospital every day so I'm having to fit everything in! 

Kerry xoxo

Inthewaitingline.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

My Aunty Suzanne went into surgery at 7.30am and Stacey went in at 9.15am and we've been sat around ever since just waiting for news.

I can't even believe how calm and collected my Aunty Suzanne has been! Nothing fazes her at all! She's been making sure everyone else is okay. She's crazy brave and I can't find the words to express how much it means to me that she's doing this for Stacey. We've always been an incredibly close family but having major surgery and giving her kidney is so selfless.

Everyone keeps telling us that it is a routine surgery, kidney surgeries are done every week, they'll be fine! However Stacey's is a little more complicated than that. She has been on Walfarin for the last year as she has antiphosphilipids syndrome or 'sticky blood'. This is what caused blood clots in her brain and her loss of sight. The doctors have had to take her off the medication to do the kidney surgery so the surgery is a lot more complicated.

Is it okay to admit I'm terrified out of my mind?

I've been trying to stay strong and hold the tears back for the sake of my family. My mum has reverted back to crying everytime anyone talks to her, my dad broke down at the hospital yesterday and Stacey didn't stop crying all morning. Everyone is on edge.

I keep telling myself that she has the best team of surgeons and experts in all areas are surrounding her in case anything goes wrong. Not to mention the fact that last time she had surgery she was dying and they didn't even know about the sticky blood at that point. So she'll be fine right? They have done more complicated surgeries than this right?

People keep telling me Stacey is strong, she's a fighter, she's been through worse than this. It's all true and I feel guilty doubting her but she's been so unlucky so far I feel like I can't get my hopes up. Like if I let myself believe that everything will be fine and easy I'll break apart if it's not.

I just feel so useless. I wish it was me. I wish this hadn't taken away her dream job and I was the one taken down the hallway to be operated on. That I was the one who's sight had been taken and life turned upside down. Anything for Stacey to be healthy and happy again, living the life she wanted for herself.

In the end I have to believe that she will be okay. It's unacceptable to think of anything else. 

Kerry xoxo

It'sbeenawhile!

Well, it's been a while to say the least! Four months to be exact, oooops, it's been a bit of a whirlwind. I cannot actually believe how fast time has flown! I had all the best intentions of keeping up to date with the blog but with work and socialising it's been really hard.

To update you all, these are some pictures from the last few months :) 

1&2. Are both from a trip to Norfolk where my Mum, Dad, Stacey, Marshall and Toffee went on a boat in July. 3. Is a silly photo I got of Stacey and Marshall with Toffee. 4. Stacey all dressed up to go to Marshall's football presentation. 5. My housewarming party with me, Stacey and Ava Grace in August.

Stacey has been doing amazing with Toffee, it's a little bit ridiculous how much they love each other in such a short amount of time! He literally follows her everywhere, I even caught them both watching the Fox and the Hound together last month! 

August also marked the one year anniversary of Stacey being ill, rushed to hospital and her losing her sight. I posted this on Facebook on the day:

Everyone was so lovely and supportive, I had some really beautiful comments. 

I guess the main reason I'm updating this blog today is because we're back in the hospital AGAIN. However, this time it's a positive trip. Stacey is having her kidney transplant on Friday. For the past year my brave, wonderful Aunty Suzanne has had every test under the sun to make sure she is the perfect donor. This week she finally gives her kidney to Stacey. I don't think we could ever express how thankful we are to have such amazing family around us. 

So anyway, you'll probably have a few more updates from me over the next few weeks with progress reports. Mostly cause I'll be hanging around the hospital waiting and waiting and waiting some more. 

Thanks for reading,

Kerry xoxo

A Little About Me.

It's April. Can someone please explain to me how this happened?! This year is going stupidly fast, before long it'll be Christmas again!

So, this blog is predominantly a diary about my sister and her overcoming her illness. However, with her doing amazingly well recently there is less and less to report on so I thought I'd mix it up a bit and make it more of a life blog. 

With that in mind, here's more about me if you're interested :)

April:

Watching- well, The Walking Dead has just finished and what a finale that was! No spoilers though! It was just awesome. So now I'm looking forward to the start of the next season of Game of Thrones starting tomorrow and the last season of Californication next weekend. I am a HUGE fan of both of these programmes and love Hank Moody to death. I am also still watching Supernatural which I think is on season 9 (?) at the moment. This programme is close to my heart, I've watched it since the start in 2005 and feel like I've grown up with Sam & Dean.

Those who know me know that I watch way too much tv and read way too many books!

Listening To- I've just bought A Great Big World's album 'Is there anybody out there?' and it is beautiful! You'll probably all have heard their song with Christina Aguilera 'say something'. I am completely in love with the album, it has such a good vibe and I find myself dancing around the kitchen singing along. I am also completely obsessed with all things Taking Back Sunday and with their new album being out, I have it on repeat!

Reading- At the moment I am re-reading all of the Harry Potter books. Currently I'm up to The Half Blood Prince (book 6 out of 7) and I fall more and more in love with them with every chapter I read. I've actually read them a gazillion times before but if I ever want to get sucked into the world of Harry Potter I tend to watch the films instead. I'm always one for saying that books are better than films and this series is no exception, there's so much more magic in the books and more to the relationships than what you see on the screen. I'm even getting that nervous fluttery feeling in my stomach knowing I'm almost at the last book!

Looking Forward To- Glasgow! I'm going on a long weekend away on the 18th for the boyfriend's Grandad's 70th birthday and it's a massive family reunion. I absolutely love Dan's (my) family, they're all hilarious and I'm lucky that were all so close. Dan & I may not be married but I definitely class his brother and sister as mine too as well as all his cousins and I love any excuse to get together with them all.

There's also McBusted at the end of the month! I don't think there's anyway to express my excitement for this!

Loving- So much! Spring is officially upon us and I LOVE it. It's lighter in the mornings, the sun is shining (most of the time) and everyone just seems happier! I'm loving all the plans I'm making with friends and family, I'm loving that Stacey is getting better everyday, and I'm loving that we're moving in the next couple of months to a beautiful house.

Well I have rambled on for far too long. How's your April looking? Any recommendations for books/ films/ music is much appreciated. I'm always on the lookout for something new.

Xoxo

March.

Well, what a month! It's been non stop craziness since the 1st March and it's all been awesome!

March was the month of my 26th birthday, my Uncle's 40th and my Mums birthday weekend away to the Lake District.

My birthday in dialysis with Mum and Stacey :)

As usual my family were incredible and made my birthday lovely. I'm not really sure when it happened but Stacey & I have started dressing the same! The same day I got a hat, she got the same one. We also wore similar dresses on my birthday! I wouldn't mind if she didn't look better in everything! My best friend, Kiran & her boyfriend Neal even spent the entire weekend with me this year. She's a special one :)

On the 6th we drove to the Lake District for my Mum's 50th. It was a present to her from me, Stacey, Kierran, Dan, my Grandma & Grandad. Unfortunately after all my Grandad's chemotherapy, he was too unwell to come with us.

It was a mega long drive (4hours!) we got to the cottage we had booked and it was lovely! 

Literally as soon as we got there I put my feet up! Ha!

We went on a few walks, round cute little villages and had a few meals out (we were only there thurs-sun). It was awesome just hanging out with my favourites. Would have been an amazing trip if Stacey had her guide dog though! He would've loved it!

Babbling brook :p

All in all I think my mum enjoyed it! I know we all did, I didn't wanna come home!

After that there was my Uncle's 40th which we celebrated at a local Indian Restaurant in Coventry 'The Ocean' which of you get chance- go! The food was awesome and what made it special was the main waiter, he was absolutely hilarious!

Stacey working the bowler hat and extensions.

The biggest thing that happened in March however, was the new addition to our family.

In my last Stacey related post I said she had up to 6 months to wait for a guide dog. Well as little as a few weeks later... Meet Toffee......

He is an 18 month old cross between a golden retriever and a Labrador and he is quite honestly the most beautiful dog I've ever met. We've all fallen in love with him, he is just so loving. Stacey & I took him out last Sunday for his first free run around the local park with her guide dog trainer Gareth. Stacey has to learn to get Toffee to always respond to her. With her being partially sighted he is able to run around and have fun but always know that he must look after her as well. Which he does amazingly well!

More on Stacey and Toffee as I hear about it! Unfortunately with me living in Nottingham and they are in Coventry I don't get to spend much time with them but he is definitely an excuse to go home more! Such a cutie!

In between all of these things I've been to see Jack Whitehall live at Nottingham Capital FM Arena (if you have a chance, go see him live, he is hilarious!) #pray4theking 

It was also my besties 23rd birthday which we celebrated in style at Centreparcs Aqua Spa in Sherwood. Lots of cake, sparkling wine and relaxation in its many rooms. We're thinking of making it a 3 monthly thing cause we both left feeling incredible!

1) Stacey & her boyfriend, Kierran. 2) Toni & I at Charli's birthday night out. 3) Stacey, Laura & I from Laura's Birthday night out. 4) the BFF & I. 5) Toni's little girl Lacey pulling faces.

So my March was fun filled and exhausting! How was yours?!

Xoxo

Mother's Day.

This post is dedicated to my beautiful mum. Every year I say how amazing she is but after the last eight months she has proved to be the most brave, selfless, inspirational person I've ever met.

She continually shows how much she loves us and I'm hoping we do the same for her. 

There is nothing, literally nothing, she won't do for us and is always there when we need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to vent to.

My mum is my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Goodnewsoutweighsthebad.

I'm getting really lax at keeping up to date with this blog! Sorry!
However now that Stacey is doing pretty well there seems to be less to talk about (which is definitely a good sign!)
I may even start doing some different posts on here, whatever takes my fancy, just to fill out the blog when there is no news to report :)


So, last week we had some bad news. My Aunty Suzanne is the latest candidate for 'The Kidney Factor' (yes I made that up and its awesome). This involves some heavy tests, starting off with blood work and tissue matching then onto kidney and breathing tests. To check that my Aunty is a match for the first round the hospital have to have up to date vials of Stacey's blood to compare it.
However, since moving from three lots of 4 hour dialysis a week to two 3 hours a week, her blood work has got worse and she has felt more poorly because of it. This means unfortunately its back up to 3 days a week and Stacey HATES it. she has dialysis Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings which means the days in between she is recovering then she's back to it again. It really drains her.

Stacey over the last few months :)

 

Buuuuuut, as it says in the blog title, the good news outweighs the bad. The same day she found out about dialysis, she also found out that she has been put forward for tests to find out if her body is fit enough for her kidney transplant. At the moment she is not on the kidney transplant list due to her body not being fit enough for surgery if a kidney match comes up. Her tests are due next week and if she passes (?) she will be put on the transplant list and her doctor is hopeful that she will have a new kidney within 4 months!

 

Not only that, but Stacey found out a couple of days later that the guide dog tests that she had taken a few weeks ago have meant that she should get a guide dog in the next 6 months due to her being young, fit and at least slightly aware of her surroundings meaning she can be matched with a lot of different dogs.

 

So much good news! Stacey has already bought the dog its first toy, she's so excited!

 

 

 

 



Stacey & I - October 2013.

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading :)

happiertimesahead.

Stacey ready for her Uni Ball.

My bestie recently told me that she loves to read my blog about Stacey, but I always start off cheery and end up leaving her in tears, sorry Charli! So this is a happier, cheerier post!

I ventured home to Coventry last weekend for my BFF's birthday, and as always, I stayed over at my parent's house. Thank god I did as I got to see my beautiful sister all dressed up like a princess to go to her Uni Ball with her boyfriend and her friends. Unfortunately when Stacey became ill she only had 3 months left of university and then she would have been a fully trained Nurse. The uni are being amazing and holding her placement open until 2016 for if/when her sight returns and she can complete her degree however, this did not stop her from saying well done and celebrating her friends passing their degrees and getting jobs.

Stacey had a surprise for everyone though, she usually has a short bob that recently due to the crazy amounts of medication she is on, dialysis twice a week and long stays in hospital beds, has started falling out. She came out of her bedroom at 7pm a changed person! She had been to the hairdressers earlier that day and had long blonde extensions put in, that even her boyfriend didn't know about and she had done all her makeup herself!

She looked like a Barbie doll :)

Totally didn't stop her trying to ruin my nice photo!

They partied til the early hours and only managed to get home just half an hour before Dan and I at 2am!

 

Also, earlier that day my mum and I were going into town and Stacey decided she was going to join us, however instead of coming in the car with us she decided to use it as an excuse to do some more training with her mobility cane. She has been told she needs to go out and learn routes to places she would normally go to in preparation for getting a guide dog. After being really apprehensive about letting her out of the house on her own being partially sighted, I was completely surprised when she beat us into town! Stacey had managed to walk to the bus stop, get on the bus and get to the shop in town before us and we were in the car! I was so proud. She was also completely hilarious using her cane to part people like the red sea... people were jumping out of the way of her walking so fast.

 

Witnessing how incredibly strong she is after everything that has been thrown at her just shows that things can only get better and with her strength and courage there is nothing stopping her.

christmas & new year.

thisisouryear.

"this is our year this year isn't it Kerry? it has to be. I fought so hard to make it through last year so this one has to be good, right?"

"yeah Stacey, this is our year. thank you for not dying on us by the way"

"shut up. I love you. happy new year"

this is how 2014 happened for us. didn't matter where we were or what we were doing. our family were around us, we watched the fireworks on tv lighting up London and we all held each other- because we all knew 2013 could have ended so differently.

the last 5 months have been an on-going struggle, in and out of hospital but still never getting a diagnosis. still no one knows why a beautiful, smart, healthy young girl nearly died in the space of a week. the truth is we may never know, its something Stacey will have to live with forever. no reason behind her pain and suffering. she is so incredibly brave though.

since her breakdown a few weeks ago she has started seeing a therapist for all the trauma she has been through since her illness and how it effects her life, but also in helping her understand those around her too. Stacey and my dad have always been so alike, hugely stubborn and bull headed so they are always the ones that pick fights. since Stacey's illness my mum and dad have to pretty much do everything for her, with her being partially sighted it is hard for her to do anything on her own and she no longer has any independence. this doesn't mean she doesn't try. whenever she goes out with friends and or her boyfriend my dad, naturally, worries. instead of rationally talking to her about this however, they end up in screaming matches. Stacey needs her independence, even if it is a little bit. dad needs to make sure she is safe. the therapist has really helped her understand what's happening around her and how to deal with it all the right way. its totally calmed her down! there are still the odd spats but we wouldn't be family if we didn't fall out once in a while!

we all knew Christmas was special this year. there was a point when no one knew if Stacey would be here for it, but as we all know she is a fighter. my whole family crammed into our tiny living room (18 of us in total!) to share Christmas dinner. my mum decided she would attempt a speech, however being a massive crier, she didn't get very far. she just wanted to thank everyone for their love and support through everything, everyone knows how we feel but looking around the table and seeing them all welling up was heart wrenching. knowing how much we all mean to each other and feeling so lucky that we could all share another Christmas together was perfect.

we have a lot planned already for this year. Stacey is looking forward to getting a guide dog in the oncoming months, she is already attempting to go on walks ALONE with her stick! I was so proud when I found out! she wont let anyone or anything stand in her way of beating this thing. whatever it was.

fate is a funny thing.









I have come to realise I have a slight mental block. I was following my sisters story pretty closely at the start of this blog but I cant seem to get past the image of leaving my dad at the hotel on holiday when Stacey went into surgery. I have talked to various people about this. I believe its down to how traumatic that day was for me and what it meant to all of us. I will fill in the blanks at some point. hopefully soon. so if anyone is actually reading this blog and wonders why I jumped from august to December, this is why.